Every parents nightmare, and close to three weeks later I still can’t believe I’m living it.
The light of my life was extinguished in the early morning hours of Jan 5. What wouldn’t I give to hold you my son, one more time and tell you I love you William Harper? I love you so much for the 18 years you brought joy to my life, and the hole in my heart will never be filled. You will be missed more than you could ever imagine.
Every parent wants their kids to be happy, to succeed, to do better than they themselves did, to show them things, to teach them how to live, to see them fall in love, live life to the fullest, to be proud of them and to make them proud of themselves.
I am so, so sorry, so brokenheartedly sorry, that I was not able to show you, to somehow convince you, that life is such a special gift for us all, such a joyous, non-stop adventure of sights, sounds, places, people, experiences, pleasure, pain, challenges, failures and victories. Why couldn’t I see the pain you were in, why couldn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you want to tell me?
You were a great kid, smart, talented, fun, and I love you with all my heart. I will never stop treasuring the 18 years you gave me. I’ll never forget all-night Halo video game sessions where we kicked some serious Covenant butt. Or sitting outside listening while you took guitar lessons, I was always SO impressed with the talents you demonstrated, then being so proud when you performed. Being your coach for baseball, going paddling, fishing, riding motorcycles, shooting, jumping on the trampoline and to the rock climbing gym. Lately, us going out for Sushi and a Movie. That was the best.
I’ll treasure every moment, and while at times it will be difficult, I promise you I will never let the sorrow of losing you overwhelm the great joy it was to have had you. You were such a great kid and young man, so much honor and so many great qualities, Wow, what a wonderful man, husband and father you would have been. You really did us all a disservice when you exited early my buddy.
I love you and you your short life had a great purpose. Our family is stronger now with you watching over all of us, I am a better man now, knowing that you are always there with me, and one day, I am going to stop someone from making the mistake that I believe you made. The hole in my heart will never be filled, but the thoughts of your kind, wonderful spirit will never leave me. And some of your great qualities will become a more dominant part of my life.
Maybe I will see you again one day when my time is up. And after I kick your ass for doing this, we can laugh about the old days, the things we did, and you can be proud of how I lived the rest of my life. That will be the best day, but until then, I am going to take care of your Mom and your sisters, and we are going to live a life that you will be happy to watch. We are depending on you to pull guardian angel duty over us during this time, we’ll be depending on you for advice, coaching, protection and inspiration.
Oh… We are proud of you also for helping so many individuals live better lives though your generous donation of organs and tissues, and the $2,000 plus donations that are being made to ‘A Gift for Music’ programs, so kids that didn’t have it as good as you, will have the opportunity to change their lives through music.
That’s just the sort of thing your Mom and I would expect from your kind, caring soul Mr. Harper.
I love you forever William Harper.